As a mother who is open about having a transgender teen, Ive heard it all: everything from how abusive it is to enable a confused child to how Im condoning children as young as five getting genital surgery.

These ideas are as absurd as they are inaccurate. Sadly, that doesnt make them uncommon. Inside of a year, Ill receive hundreds, if not thousands, of comments like these on social media and in email. People have plenty of opinions about what affirming a trans child means, but what they often lack are facts.

This mother is honouring inclusion at home, in an effort to raise young advocates read it here.

Trans people are regularly attacked, both verbally and physically, for simply existing in the world. They are, by far, one of the most misunderstood and mistreated demographics on the planet. Trans youth often face this hatred as well, along with having their maturity and sense of self questioned by everyone from family to physicians. Many think theyre too young to know who they are or are not and cant possibly make decisions that could impact their future.

Their accepting parents, by default, become targets of these ideas, too. For example, how dare we feed into our childrens fantasies? What if little Timmy wanted to become a dog or a superhero? Would we allow that, too?

"Trans people are regularly attacked, both verbally and physically, for simply existing in the world."

Sigh.

As someone who wouldnt have to write for a living if she could pay the bills with misdirected hate from strangers, lets look at some of the biggest misconceptions about transgender kids.

Trans and non-binary children are anything but confused. A recent studyfound that theyre just as sure of who they are as kids who are cisgender (those who identify with the gender assigned at birth).

Gender identity is something we all have its just that most of us dont have to think about it because the world has always seen us the way we see ourselves. Trans kids do have to think about and often talk about gender because who the world has perceived them as isnt who they are.

If theyre lucky, theyll find willing ears and open hearts to listen.

Not quite. People often conflate gender identity and gender expression. Gender identity is who we are, and gender expression is how we express that.

There are many boys who wear dresses and still identify as boys. This is known as gender non-conforming, which means they dont conform to the societal norms expected of their gender.

"Trans kids do have to think about and often talk about gender because who the world has perceived them as isnt who they are."

Gender identity runs deeper than what we wear or what activities we participate in.

It should also be noted that gender identity is not the same as sexual orientation. There are many gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual and asexual trans people.

Horrifically, this was tried for years, and falls under the same category as trying to convince gay people theyre straight. Conversion therapy also known as reparative therapy has been banned in many places because of the damage it does to the individual.

A quick look at the statistics shows a high risk of trauma, mental health issues and self-destructive behaviours. Trying to force people to be who theyre not is extremely harmful.

Today, we know its better to help kids be who they are, not who we expect them to be. Outcomes for children who are affirmed in their gender identity are very positive. In fact, a study by Trans PULSE showed that trans youth who receive strong parental support see their risk of suicide and self-harm decrease approximately eight-fold, to a level that is nearly on par with their cisgender counterparts.

Queer parents with young kids sometimes have to navigate learned heteronormative attitudes read about that here.

If anything, its not easy enough. When a young trans person wants access to transition-related medical care, the process is long and often daunting. Wait lists can span months or even years, followed by several appointments and assessments between each step. Historically, medical transition has been difficult to access and heavily gatekept, especially for minors. Things are slowly getting better as more professionals learn how to best support their trans patients, but it is by no means an easy or fast process.

I promise you this isnt happening. When younger children come out as trans, they will often socially transition, which means living as the gender they identify as, and sometimes using a new name and/or pronouns. They might be followed by a gender specialist or clinic, but there are no affirming medical supports for pre-pubescent trans youth.

Hormone blockers a group of safe, reversible medications with a long history of pediatric use block unwanted puberty from continuing, if thats needed. Hormone treatment and some gender affirming surgeries are reserved for teens and older, while other surgeries are only performed on adults. The ages vary depending on individual cases, medical standards and geographic location, but it is certainly not something young children have access to. Its also important to note that not all trans or non-binary people medically transition, and that medical transition itself is very individual.

"Ask a parent of a trans kid what it feels like when they no longer hear their child crying in the shower ...."

As always, when it comes to something we dont have personal experience with, its best to get our information from the source. Rather than reading Uncle Jerrys late-night Facebook post about the dangers of puberty blockers, go find a trans persons book, blog or YouTube channel discussing how life-saving these medical supports can be. Ask a pediatric endocrinologist working in a gender clinic about how many trans kids change their minds about transition (spoiler: usually less than 1 per cent). Ask a parent of a trans kid what it feels like when they no longer hear their child crying in the shower, and instead see them living a full and happy life (I speak from experience on that one).

Research before you judge. Kids like mine will be all the better for it.

See the original post:
I Am A Mother of a Trans Teen and Heres What Youre Getting Wrong about Them - CBC.ca

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